It was a dull day when the two teams were about to collide on Mallow’s home ground. I was a Kanturk man and I was going out there to beat Mallow in rugby.
In the first half, they were beating us. We had more possession and more passes and tackles but they got in a lucky try from their best player, Darren. To be fair it was a good run and he broke through our defenses because we weren’t paying attention. But they were exhausted at that stage.
In the second half we caught back up with them and I scored the winning try with 30 seconds left to go. My friend Rory ripped the ball from a Mallow player and threw it to me and I knew then what I had to do. I broke into a sprint and ran down the pitch as fast as my two legs could carry me and sprinted past all their players and with 5 seconds left I crossed the line and put the ball down. I won us the game – the Munster cup. The Kanturk supporters screamed as loud as a stampede of elephants running at 100 miles per hour. I became famous and three years later I started playing for Ireland.
Three weeks ago I was on television. My brother and I were skydiving off a plane and it turned out we were being filmed although we did not notice it at the time. We were about to become famous for pulling the most dangerous skydive move of all time. We were bamboozled because we didn’t even think the stunt was that dangerous because our dad had showed us how to skydive and he was a natural.
By the time we got back home, we seemed to be on the television. There were videos of us all over the internet and all over RTE news saying :
“Daredevil brothers pull off most dangerous skydive stunt of all time.”
Slowly Ann Stepped into the secret garden…
Ann is now 98 years old. She is my great grandmother. Once she told me a story about what happened to her when she was 6 years old.
“When I was 6 years old there was a garden as big as a jungle and my brother Andrew kicked the ball in there so I, as usual, had to get it and open the creaky gate into the garden. (Mind you my mother told me never to go in there because a bitter old man lived in there.)
Anyway as I opened the gate I heard howls of pain come from somewhere distant in the garden so I hurried quickly over to get the ball.
I picked up the ball and ran toward the gate and there standing at the gate with my brother in his grasp was an obviously angry barely alive old man. I mean you could see his bones through his skin and then without warning he ran at me with inhuman speed. I ran to a tree and climbed it as quickly as I could. Gasping for breath I sat on a branch definetley confused. I wondered how he was so fast and how I was going to save my brother and get out of there.
Just then I saw the old man walking around a tree trunk looking for me and then I noticed that his ears were pointy.
Bewildered I shouted, “AN ELF!”
And just guess who heard me? The elf – I jumped off the branch landing on a few enourmous leaves that broke my fall on the way to the garden floor but it wasn’t enough and when I landed the impact knocked me unconscious…And when I awoke I realised it was only a dream.”
“That wasn’t a true story, Nana,” I said
“Ah young Luke, it is – if you use your imagination.”
It was an ordinary day at the zoo or so I thought when Boom! George the gorilla crashed through the yellow bricks they were going to use for his new cage.
He was running pretty fast -faster than I have ever seen him run in his life after a teenage boy who had thrown a banana skin at him while he had been eating.
George chased him out of the zoo towards the boy’s mum’s car. The boy hopped into the car and shouted at his mum to drive. But he was too late George had the gripped onto the back bumper of the car and was stopping them from driving away. But luckily I got there just in time and stopped George from ripping them to shreds.
Tom was heading home from a hard day of work at the agency. As he was walking he was reading the front page of the Daily times and it was about a tomb of some sort…
“Reporters say that the tomb of the torturers has been discovered by Dr Bravestone and his sidekick Sir Armstrong. They have already made it through the tomb to the masks of the three torturers without activating any booby traps. They say that there are three masks – of a bull, a horse and a goat. Dr. Bravestone put on the mask of the bull and Sir Armstrong put on the goat. Although their whereabouts are currently unknown we urge no one to try and retrieve the horse mask .”
“Honey,” Tom said when he got home “Come and read this.”
“Come on quick or we’ll miss the train,” I said thundering down the stairs roaring at my mother to stop doing her makeup and come on.
“We’re going to be late,” I roared again.
“Coming !” said my mum in an almost musical note as she clambered to pick up her handbag and run down the stairs.
“Let’s go,” mum said as she opened the front door, ran out and started the car .
We arrived at the train station and the first thing we heard – Choo! choo! – “Come on quickly,” said mum “or we’ll miss it.”
We ran up the flight of steps and lunged into the train as the doors started to close.
“Phew! “I gasped for breath after running up those steps but it seemed to be going backwards.
Eoghan was in school and it was a Monday. His wretched teacher was giving them a pile of work and Eoghan wanted to get out as soon as he could so he took his alligator whistle that he had got in a cereal box that morning out of his pocket and at break time –
He blew the whistle. Nothing happened. He looked at the mauve coloured whistle and shoved it back into his pocket.
After break time he was inside doing some really tricky maths when he heard screams. He looked out of the window and saw alligators – hundreds of them climbing up the walls and into the school.
“Oh no!” Eoghan shrieked as the whole school was in pandemonium.
“What have I done?”
The giant had cornered me I had nowhere to go.
I had stolen the giants gold, time and time again and it had made me famous and rich.
But how could I have been so foolish to keep stealing from a giant? What was I thinking?
But now he has caught me. He has cornered me in the town park between two walls. As he pulls a tree right out of the ground about to squash me flat, I know I’m about to meet the fate that I deserve…
It had been raining all morning and my by baby sister was beginning to be a bit cranky. My mom was trying to calm her down but she just kept on crying. I was getting a bit annoyed as well because our internet was not great and I was trying to play a little bit of Fortnite before the internet went ZAP …I sighed.
Just then I heard the crack of thunder and the sky lit up for a split second.
“LUCAS!” I heard my brother scream. “Call the fire brigade.”
I grabbed my phone and ran into the kitchen and then I saw it …our back garden was on fire.
I dialled 999 as fast as I could – told them the situation and where I lived and before long we were all safe.
“What happened?” he said to another guard.
“I don’t know,” he said “but I think someone’s after breaking out of Alcatraz…”
It was a lovely summer morning …well not really because she was in jail.
“Hey Rudy,” she said.
“What’s up?… actually Laura, come here.”
“What is it Rudy? said Laura.
“There is word going around that Spike has a plan to break out tonight,” said Rudy. “But he is obviously going to get caught so when he breaks out and all the guards go running after him… I’m getting out of here.”
“I’m going with you,” said Laura.
“Well it’s settled then -we’re getting out tonight.”
The night came and Rudy and Laura broke out. Rudy used his sleeping pills to put the crocodiles to sleep they both used their bed sheets to make a rope to get over the wall but they were halfway up the wall when Laura said “Rudy I don’t think I can do this.”
“YES you can,” said Rudy.
“Ok I’ll try.
They got over the wall and they swam to shore however she could not believe what she had done.
Legend tells of an old tree with two horse chestnuts hanging from it. It is said that if you eat the right horse chestnut you will become a God but if you eat the wrong one you will become a horse.
Ben is a 12-year old that has become a god from the horse chestnut and his favourite thing to do is make people do whatever he wants. But things are about to change very soon…
“Mom! make me a burger,” screamed Ben. ” Yes Ben right away.”
Boom! “Ah mom what was that?”
“Me,” said Zeus” and I have come to give you some manners.”
Tick, tock, tick tock
“Rider get out of there – the bomb will explode in 30 seconds.” “I got this,” said John Rider after he disarmed the last bomb
Back at HQ, I was told to kill a man called Yassen Gregorivich. My Instructor said something about a house and a park but I didn’t understand the instructions.
I assumed he meant to say set up my sniper rifle in the house and kill him in the park but I must have been wrong because when I got to the house and went in I saw Yassen by the fire with a silenced semi automatic pistol in hand.
“Wrong house,” he said and … BANG
Jack is a jolly giraffe when other animals are around but when he is on his own he is a jolly jaguar. This is inexplicable and at the same time, he is very affable.
He can use a supersonic roar and can camouflage. He loves Bertie and the bumbling bees and their honey and he hates the Lord of Nulth. He loves swimming in the pink lake and he hates Conor the King Croc.
He also likes helping to defend the night zoo whenever the voids attack. He is the only one of his kind after Nulth destroyed his village.
“Aarrgghh it will never work – blast it!”
“Grandad calm down.”
“I’m sorry Ellie – I just can’t seem to get it to work. ”
“You will get it to work, Granddad -you just need patience. ”
“A rraadhhh – now the electricity is out! Ellie you will have to get the mice.”
So Ellie rummaged through the garage to get the mice to power the electricity by running while her cantankerous grandad ate a peanut butter sandwich.
And although they ran quickly, they were still not making enough progress to generate electricity.
Oh no! looks like Darren has been up to his usual shenanigans.
“Oh Boy that was heavy all gold coins. It probably weighed 10 tons -thank god there were three of us to carry it.”
“Stop being such a wimp Darren.”
“He said the case was tiny and thin but the coins were worth it. They’re so Yellow and shiny. Carl stop doing that – you will make everybody suspicious.”
Just then Carl pulled out a gun and shouted: “FBI YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!”
“This is hopeless,” said Darren “now we’ll never get out.”
“No Darren you won’t .”
Sirens blared as I walked home from school. It was Friday and I had until 6 O’clock to get home and it was only 4 plus I lived right around the corner from the school so I decided to follow the Police cars and see what was going on.
When I got to the scene I saw a man on top of a building holding a gun – it looked like he was threatening a family to give him money or he would shoot their child. That’s not right I thought and decided to stand up to the man but then I wondered how I was going to get up there? All the doors and windows were boarded up.
But then it struck me – there was a rope ladder at the back hidden away by the leaves of a tree. Without thinking I climbed up the ladder and when I got to the top I picked up a rock on the roof and knocked the man out. I saved the day. When I got home my mom asked me if I had heard of the boy who was brave enough to stand up to a man with a gun?
“Yeah, mom – yeah I have.”
One day I was walking to school when I decided to take the shortcut through the woods. The woods were a very dark place and an old woman well into her 80s still lived in the woods. She was very scary.
One time my friends and I were playing truth or dare and my friend Gavan dared me to knock on the cottage door. When I knocked on the door the woman answered it and asked me if I wanted a lollipop. I said yes and she gave me a piece of grass. I dropped the grass and ran like the wind back to my friends.
On this day I noticed her crying on her doorstep. Then I saw it – a dead cat on her windowsill and loads of cups and saucers scattered around her over grown garden. But there was one cup in particular that caught my eye – it was a huge china cup stuck in the grass.
What had happened?
BOOM! CRASH! BANG! BANG!
“GET DOWN!! GRENADE!” I roared at the top of my lungs trying to be heard over the explosions and the gunfire.
That was all two months ago and it was all I could remember before getting shot and rescued by my best friend Jack. it was the time when the terrorist group Taishi attacked.
I used to work with the army but one day when my friend Jack and I were on patrol around the base camp we were ambushed and taken hostage to the terrorist leader’s camp. Jack and I wondered why the Taishi would risk going so close to base camp?
But we never got any answers and were forced to join the terrorist group. But what if I was in charge of trying to escape?
“There goes another one of my experiments,” said Professor Brown. As usual, he was trying to give his pet goldfish wings. Slowly recovering from the explosion he got up and sighed and decided to have a cuppa.
When he was done, he flew up his ladder to his attic to get some more supplies. As Professor Brown gathered all his supplies for his experiments to bring them downstairs his nephew came into the room. “What is it now my child?”Professor Brown said as he came into the room.
“Professer i know I asked you already but…”
Professer rudely interrupted ” No! ”
“Fine – but it is your loss,” his nephew shouted as he closed the door with a bang.
In the 90th century, a wood carver named Matthew carved ninjas out of wood. But when he was carving his first ninja a rock hit him in the back of his head.
The rock was green and shiny and he decided that for every sculpture he would use a small piece of the rock for their eyes.
When he was finished all of the freshly carved sculptures he realised that he still had a big piece of the rock left. That night he thought the rock actually moved but …Oh No! it was the sculptures…
“Andy -get to your seat!”
We were on our way to Dublin to see Kanturk vs Ballyragget and we were moving very fast when our carriage derailed. My mom had already fainted at the site of the devastation – my father was the same. But only I stayed alert – wide-eyed.
When the carriage stopped tumbling around and around I was surprised I was still breathing. Blood was trickling into my eye and my shoulder had surely been popped out of place.
But I knew I had to get some help quickly before it was too late…
Outside a café next to one of the twin towers, a couple and their child were talking to each other when…BOOM! The building came down.
On the 12 of September, after the twin towers had fallen, the locals decided to put up three statues -one a dad, two a mother and three. their child after they died a tragic death.
But now it is 2018 and still every day I walk past the statues and remember this family.
One day a mad aggressive ghastly scientist named Quasi wanted to do an idiotic thing that no other scientist had done before. So he went home and had some dangerous chemicals with him.
He made a mixture that was toxic and hazardous and poured it on nearly every limb on his body. Then the limbs dropped off and regenerated nearly instantly and the ones that dropped off came to life.
But……the right hand grew to the size of a man and had an abominable mind of its own…
In the beginning, I was a happy child but then I went to a miserable school in Cork . I became a lonely, dreary, ghastly child.
One day when my friend Tom and I were walking to school minding our own business the school bully Roger came over.
“Oi what do you think you’re doing on my path to school?”
“Sorry Roger,” we both said at the same time.
And then he nearly killed Tom by pushing him onto the road and he threw my plastic bag in the River Lee.
And now you know how miserable my life is.
AHHHHHHHH!!! dumb boss – the only reason I missed a day at the office is because I was ill.
I loathe my new boss. I sigh to my pet monkey. He’s a pompous fool. I have to go through 1,000,000 files to find the virus in the system. And that was all to be done yesterday!
I went to bed last night at 7:00 pm (because I needed energy) with ONLY 1ooo files left to go through.
There was pandemonium in my house the following morning. ” Look’s like Jim’s been up to skullduggery ( Jim is my pet monkey)”
There were at least 20 monkeys in my house that morning but when I saw my laptop. I turned red in the face and started to chuckle.
My Dad and I were in our jeep going around the Jungle. We were ravenous as we hadn’t eaten in two days because we had got separated from the group and jeep one had the food in the back. So we were also causing a lot pandemonium in the jungle.
In the middle of nowhere well in the jungle, our jeep broke down. My dad was cantankerous. The only thing we had in the back of our jeep were ropes. Dad decided we would just walk. But when we got out of the actual jungle there was a tiger blocking our escape – the only way home.
“Aw man!” I said.
I was on my Christmas holidays in England and my brother and I were messing while eating a sandwich.
Then my dad gave us a sharp look as if to say be good or you won’t get any presents from Santa.
The following day my brother and I got our things and hurried to the airport. But as we were driving, the battery in the car went dead. So we pushed the car to the petrol station and got the white Audi filled with petrol. As we were all so energetic we got to the petrol station in five minutes.
Then we just drove to the airport and flew back to Ireland.