Week 16: Running For Life by Jack

As the algid, bitter night approached, I roamed the hostile, inimical town. I turned around to see two odd looking men emerging from behind a wall carrying  a very unusual shaped bag. Curious, I wanted to know what was in it. Right then, they spotted me. Without thinking, I ran, not once looking back…..

Eventually, I had to stop. Gasping for breath, I listened all around. Nothing. I looked in front and behind. Which way? Suddenly, a spine-shivering shout made me forget everything and run.

Panting heavily, I ran down an alley, only to find the one thing that could stop me. A dead-end……..

26 thoughts on “Week 16: Running For Life by Jack”

  1. Hi jack, the really
    Great thing about you
    story was where you
    were trapped in the dead-end.
    By kacper

  2. Great story Jack!
    Very creative story and I love your use of ellipsis.
    Can’t wait to read more…

  3. Great story Jack no wonder you got showcase .
    Your story was so good you could just keep reading it
    Keep up the good work

  4. Hello Jack
    Marvelous story.I see why they picked you as a showcase.
    Can’t even say anything bad about it.Gooood job

  5. Hi Jack amazing story I loved reading it
    I loved how at the end it was a dead end
    I wonder who were the men chasing you?
    What was in the bag?
    Great story congratulations on show case Bye Shane F

  6. Helo Jack I really enjoyed this story.
    I wonder what was actually in the back?
    I really enjoyed this 10 out of 10 Adam

  7. Hi Jack
    That was a excellent story and I loved it
    I liked the way you used the prompt well
    It reminded me of a film I watched but I forgot what the name was
    It got me thinking what will happen next
    Congratulations on getting picked on showcase????
    Laurynas ???

  8. Dear Jack
    I loved your story it was great.
    I would’ve liked to know what was in their bags maybe it was their tools.
    This reminds me of a story homer told to Bart and Lisa about a guy that goes around killing people with some top he hangs them.
    What happened did you die or did you live ?
    Please comment on my story it is called the intergalactic mission.
    Your sincerely Julius.

  9. Hi Jack, great story.
    Congratulations on receiving another showcase.
    Who were these men?
    It must have been really scary.
    Keep up the good work.
    Shane C5th.

  10. Hi Jack,
    I really enjoyed your story this week.
    Congradulations on the showcase.
    Keep up the work.
    Dylan K

  11. Hi Jack.
    I liked your story very much :).
    How did the shout sound from the third pharagraph?
    Keep up the good work and good job for the showcase!

  12. Hi Jack nice job on your story I could feel the adrenaline of the character as he ran nice job.

  13. Hi Jack
    We have just read your 100 word challenge on our smart board. Congratulations on being showcased but we’re not surprised as your story is excellent. Oscar thinks you used really good words eg emerging instead of coming out of and spine-shivering. Stephen (who also got showcased) says your story is thrilling. Well done from all in Ms O’Keeffe’s class in Kinvara.

  14. Amazing story Jack! Great use of ellipses! What was in the men’s bag? Hope there is a part two! You used the prompt very well. We liked the upstaged vocabulary. We liked the fact that it is a mystery story. Keep up the good work Jack!
    From Sophie & Charlotte Friday Bridge Primary School

  15. Hi Jack,
    Happy new year! And it looks like you have started 2017 with a bang, what an excelllent piece of writing. I think everyone else has already said everything that I wanted to say! Your word choices are excellent, there are some words that I might need to look up in a dictionary. You have also controlled your writing really well with sentences of different length to give a feeling of suspense for the reader.
    I am going to use this as an example of a fantastic piece of writing for my class if that’s ok, they could learn a lot from you!
    Miss T

  16. Hi Jack, Your story this week was superb.
    I really enjoyed reading your story this week, I can tell you put a lot of effort into it and wrote it very well. your vocabulary absouletly fantastic ,brilliant adjectives and sentence openers. Creative story plot made it interesting to read. I enjoy reading your stories every week as they are excellent. I look forward to reading your stories in the future.

    If you would like to check out my story this week my link is below.http://smppspower.weebly.com/100-wc-week-16/lauren

  17. I liked your story a lot because it was very interesting. I also liked how descriptive it was.

  18. Wow Jack! What a start to the New Year! This is the first 100 wc story I’ve read this year and it certainly hasn’t disppointed. You’ve continued with your ususal high standard of writing. Your vocabulary is excellent. I’m completely stumped by your closing paragraph. Fantastic writing Jack. Well done.

  19. Hi Jack, outstanding story this week! I really enjoyed it. Amazing adjectives, punctuation and sentence openers. I think this story could be a winner because it is EXCELLENT. I really liked the way at the end of your story you left us on a cliffhanger. Keep up the incredible work. P.S. If you get a chance could you please check out my story and tell me what you think at: http://smppspower.weebly.com/100-wc-week-16/rebecca#comments


  20. Well done with your story I really liked the way you used the prompt in your story this week.
    Your story was very fascinating and very interesting.
    You used very good sentence openers in your story.

    Please checkout my story on this link

Comments are closed.