Week 18 Croke Park (Part 2) By David

As the ball flew through the air. I saw the mauve Jersey of the goalkeeper go down. But he was too slow; the ball had gone under his hand. The ball was ready to hit the net. It hit the post and rolled along the line. The Dublin players kicked the ball away. But as soon as they kicked it away the whistle went and the goal was awarded.

The umpire had the green flag in his hand. The final whistle went and Cork were champions. It was a tearful moment for Dublin.

We went up the steps and lifted the steel cup. When I arrived home. My family had done a roast dinner for me. With carrots, potatoes and much more. I felt like a hero that day.

5 thoughts on “Week 18 Croke Park (Part 2) By David”

  1. Great story David. Excellent use of the prompt words. You described the excitement of the day very well. You certainly WERE the hero!

  2. Great story David.
    It was a really interesting and exciting story to read.
    Just one small mistake on the first line as you added a full stop instead of a comma.
    Apart from that you’ve put the five words in there really well and it was such a creative story.
    Well done and keep up the amazing work!!!

    If you have the time it would be much appreciated if you could take a quick look at my story.
    http://smppspower.weebly.com/100-wc-week-18/hannah-lu

    Good Luck!!!

  3. Hi David/
    your 100 word challenge this week was superb.
    star; great adjectives and punctuation.
    star; you used the 5 words very well and the theme of the story was excellent.
    wish/ you could describe where cork and Dublin playing.
    — I remember one day I went to see a gealic match.
    Did you have an amazing time.

    But overall you did a fantastic job.

  4. Dear David,

    Cool story about football! Nice that Dublin won. I have a bit of advice, maybe try to be a little less colloquial in your writing- by this I mean be careful not to write how you speak- or at least don’t use vague words to describe something that there is a word for. For example you said that your family had ‘done’ a dinner for you, when actually you could have used the work ‘cooked’. Its a small thing but it will improve your writing so much.

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