As I got up for work in the carrot bank of Rabtopia, I walked out of my mauve apartment. I heard my four neighbors planning something very suspicious. I didn’t want to eaves drop on their plan but it sounded too suspicious . I heard Jerry whisper, “I have genetically engineered these carrots to explode with a push of this button!”Suddenly I heard Marcus coming to the door so I ran as fast as I could to work.
Later that day I told the manager but he didn’t believe me. About twenty minutes later 4 rabbits in ski masks marched in armed with steel knives and guns . I was tearful that no one believed me . But I hid under the desk.
“Give us all your carrots or these ones will blow you up!”
Hi Shane
I love your story because of all your fancy words.
Kind Regards
Daniel
https://msbrennocksclass.100wc.net/
Great writing Shane! I love the name you have used for the bank in the story!
I think your closing sentence is very clever too.
Great writing. Well done.
Ms Brennock
This is such a creative take on this week’s challenge. I enjoyed this so much! Great job!
Mrs. Wlazlo in NY
well done Shane F keep the work up Ms’O Keeffe’s class
This is a brilliant story! It is very creative and imaginative. It would be even better if you included more commas. I really hope you continue this story as I would love to find out what happens next!
hi shane
this was a great story
hopefully it goes well in the end
i think you should make a continuation
sean mc s
Well done, really great story.
Star: Great punctuation.
Star: Good use of adjectives.
Wish: Maybe next time read over your story.
Star: Very advanced vocabulary.
Link: This reminds me of a movie I watched recently.
Star: I like the ending of your story.
Keep it up.
It would be great if you could check out my 100wc.
http://smppspower.weebly.com/100-wc-week-18/sophie-g#comments
Sophie G
Excellent peice of work Shane, we thought it was very amusing. Try to use more commas next time. This story is very unique and we would love to hear how it continues!
Love your story this week Shane.
I promise I’ll believe everything you say from now on!
Super Work.