Week 20 The Train Crash By Jack

“Andy  -get to your seat!”

We were on our way to Dublin to see Kanturk vs Ballyragget and we were moving very fast when our carriage derailed. My mom had already fainted at the site of the devastation – my father was the same. But only I stayed alert – wide-eyed.

When the carriage stopped tumbling around and around I was surprised I was still breathing.  Blood was trickling into my eye and my shoulder had surely been popped out of place.

But I knew I had to get some help quickly before it was too late…

4 thoughts on “Week 20 The Train Crash By Jack”

  1. Hello Jack,
    A number of your decisions impressed me. I liked how you began with a bit of dialogue. It made me wonder, “Where are they going?” Then you followed up with strong word choices such as “devastation” and “trickling”. Living in California, I am left wondering if the Katurk and Ballyragget are playing football, hurling, or something else.

    Keep up your writing!

    Tracey Ananmalay
    San José, CA, US
    Team 100WC

  2. Hi Jack. What a great account of the train crash. You had me on the edge of my seat. I hope help arrived quickly. I’d like to know who won the match though. Was it Kanturk or Ballyragget? I hope it was Kanturk and ye had a great party to celebrate. Although I think I may have read somewhere about Ballyragget celebrating winning a cup some time ago….. 😉

  3. Well done Jack. You’ve given a dramatic account of the crash.
    It sounds like you were lucky to be alert and wide-eyed after that.
    I hope help arrives quickly!
    Super work this week.

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