Week 20 : The Failed Heist by Kayden

I was, as usual, pacing up and down the bank’s hallway. I am a security guard and I was on night duty. What made it hard was that I was the only security guard awake. It was 3 A.M. There was music playing  nearby which kept me alive and full of energy.

All of a sudden, the music died down, there was an eerie silence, followed by a very loud CRASH! I ducked my head and hid behind a pillar. I heard footsteps and followed. The noise was SO loud that I almost gave my position away. I turned the corner and the ‘thief’ said…

“Hello, Jim.” It was my brother.

9 thoughts on “Week 20 : The Failed Heist by Kayden”

  1. hi Kayden,
    Great story, I loved the way you included “there was an eerie silence”. I thought it was a very different and unusual story.

  2. Well don’t Kayden what a nice story at first it reminded me of five nights of Freddie’s
    an unexpected ending and was a title that drawled me in

  3. Well done Kayden! I enjoyd your story. It had a very unexpected ending. I wonder how your brother felt?

  4. What a great story with a great twist. I’m wondering who got more of a fright – you or your brother?? Well done. Great work.

  5. I wonder what Jim was doing in the bank at 3 in the morning?
    I hope he wasn’t planning on robbing it!
    That would be awkward. What would you do?
    I enjoyed your story this week- well done Kayden.

  6. Well done Kayden , great job with your story this week.

    star=i liked the way you used the prompt.
    star=i liked the title of your story.
    wish=a few more sentence openers next time.
    star=i liked how you ended your story.
    link=it sounds a bit like my story for this weeks 100 word challenge.
    question=how did you come up with this story.

    please checkout my story on this link:

    kind regards

  7. What an unexpected ending, Kayden! I thought it was going to be a sticky situation for you. Thankfully, it turned out OK. I wonder what Jim was doing there in the bank at 3:00am? Well done Kayden, keep up the amazing work!

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