Week 21: Carnival Disaster Part one by Kallum Y

Joy. Colour. Brightness.

We arrived at the carnival at 7:30.p.m. It was nearly dark. My brother and I ran for the roller coaster, bought a ticket and got into the carriage. Ascending we were nervous but excited.

Suddenly all the lights went out and the rides came to slow, eerie, hault. “What’s going on?” I whispered to my brother who was as scared as I.

“I don’t know,” he whispered back.

Suddenly we heard screams from below. There was nothing we could do. The carriages started moving backwards at a tremendous speed and then darkness.

To be continued….

15 thoughts on “Week 21: Carnival Disaster Part one by Kallum Y”

  1. Hi Kallum.
    I have to say that this story of yours was the best this year.
    It felt like it was from some kind of horror film when you read it on.
    Will the next part be like in very long time later?
    Well done.
    Your friend ~Robert

  2. Hey Kallum good story this week.
    I really want to know what happen next.
    Was there a terrorist attack?
    Were there aliens?
    Gary 6th.

  3. Hi Kallum! This was a really scary story. I love your use of “the rides came to slow, eerie, hault,” it REALLY gave me shivers! I need to know if rides can go backwards. I wonder what the disaster is? I know that everything went dark and you started to go backwards BUT this could just be a blackout…maybe. Can’t wait for part two!
    Paul

  4. Hi Kallum,
    Well done on your showcase it was really good.
    This remind me of the cover of the star writing about the roles coasters and the fairies week.
    Please comment on my story it is called my discovery.
    Your class mate Julius.

  5. Hi Kallum, great story.
    I wonder why the ride has started to go backwards.
    I hope you survive.
    Well done on getting a showcase.
    Keep up the good work.
    Shane C5th

  6. Hi Kallum amazing story
    I loved reading it!
    I loved the twist at the end
    I liked how it was set in a carnival
    I wonder was the police called?
    Congratulations on showcase
    Great story bye Shane F

  7. Hi Kallum
    That was a brilliant story
    I liked the way you made your story at carnival
    It reminded me of the Night Zoo’s Star writing
    It got me wondering why did you go to the carnival
    Congratulations on getting picked for a showcase
    Laurynas.

  8. Hi Kallum great story.
    You must have been so scared.
    Will you please write a second part soon?
    Keep up the great work.
    David 5th.

  9. Hey Kailum! You had a really amazing story today! I particularly enjoyed your use of words such as ascending,eerie and tremendous!!!This story was so descriptive and easy to imagine!!I really enjoyed reading this story and I am really excited to read part 2 of this story
    Have a great day

  10. Well that decided one thing for me- I will NEVER be going on a rollercoaster again!
    Hopefully this was all part of the ride!
    Super work – well done Kallum.

  11. What a fabulous story Kallum. Your descriptions are just excellent. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to any of the Disney Parks but this reminds me of the ‘Space Mountain’ ride. It’s a huge rollercoaster that’s entirely in the dark and you think you’re actually going through space. It’s quite terrifying – exactly like you’ve described in your story. Excellent writing. Your opening sentence is a real eye catcher. I’m going to recommend this for showcase. Best of luck!

  12. Do you know what Kallum, I don’t like rollercoasters anyway, but after reading this, I certainly won’t be getting on one any time soon! You ended the story on a thrilling cliffhanger too! I hope that it all ends well for you… Keep up the super work!

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