Tonight I was going to escape from the most heavily guarded prison in the world. Alcatraz. I had finally dug a hole big enough in the wall of my cell for me to crawl through. I had been chipping at the wall for 7 months. But in case one of the guards passed by my cell I carefully designed a head made out of plastic and put it at the right angle to make it look like I was asleep.
As soon as I escaped the main building I ran down the harbour. Laughter escaped out of my mouth. But as I jumped onto one of the boats a shot rang out and everything went black……..
Hi Gary
I liked your 100 wc it’s fantastic not fantastic it’s Amazing . Don’t stop, keep going.
Come to do our blog we are waiting you!
http://ribbledriveprimary.net/y52016/wp-admin/edit.php
Irem , Ribble drive primary
Hey Gary,
Brilliant story this week. You had many amazing adjectives. Instead of saying ” There was a gunshot,” You said “A shot rang out.” I really liked how you thought of a better way to describe that.
I remember reading a short story about Alcatraz. I can also relate to many movies, too many to mention.
Did you have any cell mate to help you escape?
Bye. Liam.
Hi Gary.
I really enjoyed your story.
I wander what happened next?
Great story and well done on the showcase.
Adam
Hi Gary,
I wonder if they shot you, tranquilized you or even tazered you. If would be nice if you continued the story by waking up in the prison hospital or something. Did you have any friends in prison?
Loved your story
ChristopherH
Hi Gary,
This is an exciting story!
It reminds me of a 24 hour challenge of Alcatraz.
Who shot the gun?
Sean M
Hi Gary, great story.
Did you die or what, why did everything go black.
You must have put hard work behind the breakout.
I doubt that you got away.
Well deserved showcase, well done.
Shane C
Hi Gary
I really liked your story it was really good.
Did you did or did you live.
This reminds me of one of the comporhension cards we get but in the bronze section.
Please comment on my story it is called Jack and the giants, and good job.
You sincerely Julius.
Wow Gary that story was quite amazing.
Did the guards end up catching you.
Your art skills must be very good to copy your head. It was very clever thinking doing that.
By Bryan
Well done Gary.
Amazing story.
Was it easy to escape from alcatraz?
This remindes me of a mission in a video game
Kyle
Hi Gary
Good Story!
You must have been really happy when you got out!
Did the gaurds catch you?
Well done on showcase!
By Calum
Hey Gary.
What an amazing story.
What happened next?
Did you escape?
Aivaras.
Hi Gary,
I loved your story,
I wonder if you died or if you passed out.
I really hope you woke up and escaped from Alcatraz.
Why were you in there?
– Kayden
Hi Gary
That was a brilliant story that I loved
I loved the way you made a dummy out of plastic to cover yourself
It reminded me of a movie called Prison Break and you should watch it
It got me wondering why were you in jail?
Congratulation on getting picked for showcase
Laurynas’ Mrs Boyce class.
Well done Gary.
Congratulations on being showcased.
Will there be a part two?
Were you killed?
Great story.
David 5th.
Hi Gary.
I liked your story very much because I nearly never read any story based on Alcatraz.
It reminds me of game called: The Escapists.
Will there be part 2?
~Robert
Congratulations Gary your story was showcased this week. Well done!
It was very well deserved – the first of many I hope!
This is a terrific story Gary! I can imagine the joy you felt in thinking that your escape plan had worked – only to hear that shot ringing out. It doesn’t sound good for you! Great work, keep it up!
As I read this, the proverb we were doing last week comes to mind.
Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.
Super work this week Gary- well done!