Week 24: Inscrutable Door By Naglis

Suspiciously, I peeked inside and I spotted a weird eerie looking door. I was dying to see what was inside. The next night at eleven pm sharp I would sneak inside and check it out. As I shoved the door open the smell was of damp and decay. I could feel my heart thumping rapidly. My heart was beating like a drum. I was shaking like I just saw a ghost. I felt minutely safer as I had a flashlight. Suddenly my flashlight started flickering. I spotted a door half off its hinges. As it creaked open, I tiptoed inside.

“Empty, what a surprise,” I thought to myself.

“BOOM” and the door slammed shut…

2 thoughts on “Week 24: Inscrutable Door By Naglis”

  1. Naglis, you are a very talented writer. You hooked in the reader from the start by opening with an interesting adverb. I love your range and depth of vocabulary and by describing things like sounds and smells you help to put the reader in the shoes of your main character. The description of the flashlight flickering was fabulous imagery and gave the piece a very spooky feel. Perhaps you could try adding in a few short sentences to create pace. Maybe even some one word sentences? Also keep an eye out for where you repeat words close together and see if there is a way you could rephrase. Please keep writing as I just loved reading this!

    Sula (Team 100WC)

Leave a Reply

Your e-mail address will not be published.