Week 2:Whoops by Marc

Hi my name is John. I live on another planet. My planet doesn’t have a name. Anyway, I’m going to tell you a story. Once upon a time Peter and I were delivering crystals that look like sweets. By the way, we were in a U.F.O. The crystals are in a glass container at the bottom. These crystals were going to planet Zap. These crystals can’t touch Earth. If it does people would eat them and then they become abominable.

Suddenly we were sleeping and a malfunction happened. We crashed into Earth. Where are the crystals? … We’re going to be killed.

7 thoughts on “Week 2:Whoops by Marc”

  1. Hi Marc,
    I really like how you were very creative and had a big imagination.Did you know my blog is a little bit like this. There is really nothing to improve on just keep doing what you’r doing.

    come and visit my blog. kidblog.org/class/rays-1718-am-rockstars/posts/eupmm0t603us31rw23ni0769e
    sincerely,
    Keira from Illinois

  2. * We liked how your story is very interesting, and has aliens and crystals.
    * We love complex words you used.
    Wish: We both wish that you could keep your paragraphs closer together so it would present better.
    We wonder what will happen next?
    This story reminds me of a puppet film
    (-)

  3. Oh no! What a distaster. By calling your writing ‘whoops’ I already had an idea that things weren’t going to be great before I even began reading.

    Miss T
    Stockbridge school

  4. Such a great story, Marc! I keep wondering about this mission and why they were delivering crystals to planet Zap. Now that both friends have crashed on Earth, perhaps Peter and John could find someone very curious and friendly about beings like you and help you to come back in safety. Your story is full of suspense and movement! Thank you for sharing! I’m teacher Ines, from Portugal (T100).

  5. What a great story Marc! Those crystals sound pretty creepy – I’m glad we don’t have any of those here! I hope that you’re all OK after the crash – your story ended on a cliffhanger and left me wanting to read more. A lot more!! Keep up the great writing!

    Mr. Russell (Team 100)
    Waterford.

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