For 87 minutes Newtown AFC and Rockchapel UTD, my team, have been equal. The score was 2-2. I had the ball in front of the goals. Unexpectedly, a defender came right at me. I collapsed onto the ground.
This was my chance.
“Aagghh! I’m hurt” I screeched. I cried crocodile tears harder than ever. Within a few seconds, medics, teammates and the referee crowded around me.
“Penalty” said the Ref.
I willingly took the penalty. I stood in front of the wide goals. I took my match winning shot. As my team bellowed joyously with the orange lit sky behind us, we headed home for a party.
Hi Liam
I really like your word choices and your subspence to your story. I am a football fan myself what team do you support?
If you want you can look at my story.
https://redbridgewriting.wordpress.com/2017/05/16/a-snap-in-the-shed/
Hi Liam,
I loved your story!
Hope your cut gets better and hope the party was fun.
If u want you could go check out my story:
https://redbridgewriting.wordpress.com/2017/05/16/say-what-by-kiki/
Well done Liam.
Me and my friend Edward love football.
I support Aston Villa and Edward supports Newcastle,who won the league.
I really like the way you used the prompt and also the words ‘bellowed joyously’.
Are Newton AFC and Rockchapel UTD a real football teams?
Lovely story Liam my friends absolutely LOVE it!! Maybe use the idea of more sports next time. Again it’s lovely, keep up the great work.
Hi Liam great story about a football match.
It was very good it had great upstaged writing maybe you could have included some more description.
By Kayleigh & Ruby
Hi Liam,
Nice story.
I like the names of Rockchapel UTD and Newtown AFC.
Is this true because I wouldn’t give the penalty.
Bye from David
https://msbrennocksclass.100wc.net/category/david/
What a brilliant story Liam and I just love the fact that you used the prompt word ‘crocodile’ in a very unique way. You’ve described the atmosphere and suspense at the match very well. I really like how you described the team as they ‘bellowed joyously’. Very well done!