Week 4 The dog’s babies by Ronan

I came home from school one day and my dog looked a lot smaller than usual. Straight away I saw that there were six other baby dogs.

One of them was quite a lot bigger than the rest and the dog was wearing glasses. Suddenly the biggest dog jumped up on me. Immediately it turned into an orangutan that was wearing a ballet dress.

Then I heard a BANG and I heard … my teacher’s voice. I was just daydreaming all that time.

5 thoughts on “Week 4 The dog’s babies by Ronan”

  1. I really like how you said that you were just day dreaming.One connection that I have is that I use to do ballet and in your story you said that it was wearing a ballet dress.One thing that you could do to make your writing better is you could add more descriptive words. I really enjoyed reading your writing .
    -Megan from Illinois

  2. Hi Ronan,

    Wow! What a creative story, with a brilliant twist when the dog turns into an orangutan, and then again when it was all a dream! You have also used ellipsis (…) really well to create a sense of anticipation. I wonder what the teacher would have said if he/she knew what you had been daydreaming about?! Thank you for entering – and keep up the awesome writing!

    Best wishes,
    Mel (Team 100)
    UK – near Bristol

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