‘So, here is the plan’ exclaimed the leader.
“Firstly, we are going to dress up as normal people and sneak into the bank. Secondly, we will aggressively bust open the ATM and run and that is where Phillip comes in and drives us home to victory.”
Just outside the bank door, the criminals were getting ready.
“1,2,3,” they whispered.
Suddenly they snuck in and busted open the ATM. Then was the time to run.
“GO,GO,GO!” they screamed.
Just then Phillip tried to start the car. When it just wouldn’t take off, he knew he was in massive trouble.
Hi Conner,
Nice story you made, it was very interesting!
Why did the robbers want to rob the bank? What happened after the car wouldn’t start?
Maybe you can check out mine ad leave a comment on
https://kidblog.org/class/7th-grade-english-19-20/posts/emlf2e0ssa75t2ppnublej6o2
Hi Conor,
I really like how your story included what the characters a saying and nice details of what they were planning to do. What made you think of the idea of someone robbing a bank?
Maybe you could come check out mine and leave me a comment!!
https://kidblog.org/class/7th-grade-english-19-20/posts/ac2n90rgm4dcr5s7hl8u8zvc6#comments
Hi Conor,
What a great story!
You used great verbs like “exclaimed, whispered and screamed”. This helped make the story exciting.
I also liked the use of the adverb “aggressively”.
I wonder what happened to Philip and the gang after the getaway car wouldn’t start?!
Keep up the great work.
Regards,
Mrs O Sullivan.