Week 6: The Oakford Murderer (Part One) by Jack.

Oakford town was a densely populated town with a variety of both strange and joyful people. The atmosphere that night was very gelid and chilly. Suddenly, the wind swept up a torn poster –  WANTED. MURDERER. UNNAMED.

Being a detective meant that I had to get right on the case. There were three abandoned houses in Oakford. “The murderer must be in one of those houses,” I thought.

Walking through the town, I spotted a piece of cloth on the road. The material felt like flat cotton candy. It was a magenta sort of colour.

I felt like I had seen something like it before…

16 thoughts on “Week 6: The Oakford Murderer (Part One) by Jack.”

  1. Jack my man that was a great cliff hanger piece I was on the edge of my seat just thinking about it And I see why it was a showcase keep up the great work.

  2. Hi Jack I loved your story this week.
    It was so good that you even got showcased.
    I really like detective stories and this was by far the best.
    I can’t wait for the follow up story
    I hope that it will be just as good or maybe even better.
    Shane C 5th.

  3. Hi Jack
    That was a really good story
    It reminds me of the detective films I wathced
    I liked the end because it was as if you found somthing interesting
    Hope you get another showcase

  4. Hi jack,I really liked your story there.
    I am really looking forward to the next part because
    I would like to see who’s the murderer.
    The murderer would be spotted easily
    when he would wear magenta clothes.

  5. Hi Jack
    Great story I hope you write a part two .
    I wonder who the murder was .
    I wonder when the murder happened..
    Great story bye Shane F

  6. Hi Jack. I really liked the story a lot 5 star. I wonder why the poster had no name? This story reminds me of a tv show I watched not so long a go. Adam.

  7. Hi jack
    I liked story
    I wonder who did it
    It reminds me of my story
    Sean mc s Mrs Boyce’s Class

  8. Hi Jack.
    Amazing storey.
    You used some amazing words in the story.
    Where had you seen the cloth before?
    Look forward to part two.

  9. Hi Jack,
    This story is by far the best this week.
    It was absolutely brilliant.
    This reminds me of the detective programs on television.
    Will there be a part three?
    Dylan K

  10. Hi Jack.
    I liked your story because of the moments in you story when you know something will happen next.
    Good job for the Showcase.
    Did you think will you get the murderer?

  11. hi jack i really like how you said how you found it but I think you could of thought where you seen the fabric . my question is was it just cloth or what? please get back to me


  12. I *do* love a good detective story Jack – and this one is simply superb! You’ve built great tension in the story, and I love your ending, because it leaves the reader wanting to read more. SUPERB work, well done!

  13. I love “Detective ” stories Jack so the title alone drew me right in! And I wasn’t disappointed!
    I can’t wait to find out where you saw something like that material before.
    Hurry up and write Part 2!
    Great work – well done!

  14. What a great story Jack. I LOVE the words you use to describe the atmosphere that night. Gelid is a most unusual word and well done you for using it in your story. Great description of the piece of cloth. This story has a real ‘Sherlock Holmes’ feeling to it. Brilliant!

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